What We Are
by green-jedi
Summary: It just happened. Then they had to figure out everything else.
1. Chapter 1

It just sort of... happened.

It was cold and they were tired and it was too much effort to drag themselves back to the hotel after the job was done. Lucy's spirits got the hut and wood together and Natsu stacked the fire so that it would burn all through the night. It was still cold, so they moved their sleeping mats and blankets side by side and huddled together to keep warm. Lucy kept jolting awake to the sound of Natsu shuffling around. Then his hand and foot pushed against her in his sleep and she passed out.

She woke up at grey dawn cozy and drowsy to the feel of him behind her with his hot breath on her neck and his arm around her waist and his leg tight around hers.

He had wriggled into her bedding.

It took her a couple of seconds for that cozy feeling to turn to something more complicated... and mortified.

Especially since she could feel a half-interested boner nudging her in the rear.

She was still frozen, staring wide-eyed out through a crack in the thin wooden-slat door when she heard Natsu's breathing change. He made a quiet sigh and she could feel his muscles go from lax to awake. He didn't move away. Instead, he shifted so that his hand was above her head. She felt light tugging at her hair as he flipped it idly through his fingers. Then he leaned closer to her neck, so close that she could feel the barest trace of his mouth, and he inhaled deeply.

Lucy felt her toes curl and pleasure unexpectedly coiled through her.

Natsu froze.

Lucy blinked frantically.

Then she did something.

Something that she must have proved that she was not fully awake, because if she had thought about what she was doing, she would have... Well, she would not have done what she did. But she was sleepy, and cozy, and happy...

And she _wanted_.

She pushed her rear harder into him.

He inhaled sharply, going completely tense behind her.

She didn't move.

He pressed his warm, open mouth to her neck and dragged his teeth across her skin. She shuddered and a small sound escaped her.

It didn't take long after that.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time it happened, she woke up at golden dawn with him sitting on the side of her bed, openly staring at her. She startled awake and drew away, drawing the covers upto her chin. She could practically feel the the whites of her eyes go dry they were so wide.

He tipped his head to the side and gave her a satisfied look with a sharp-toothed grin.

She gave him a narrow-eyed glare and a rude gesture.

He laughed.

She smirked.

He leaned towards her, both hands sunk into the pink comforter and gave her a look that made heat coil through her from her head to her toes.

He waited, grin growing wider.

She groaned with fake annoyance and flipped the comforter and white sheet back.

Later, as she ran her fingers over his scalp as he dozed, she wondered how his hair could be so soft that she could barely feel it, but that she could feel every sweaty ridge of muscle down his back.

It felt like a sweet, wicked secret.


	3. Chapter 3

She clicked her jaw shut when she realized it was half-hanging open. Cana shoved past her and Lucy stumbled out of the doorway to the first table she came to. It was about ten in the morning and the bright light shone through the window behind her. Her shadow fell across the table in front of her.

She watched them at the bar. They were lit up as bright as though they had a spotlight on them... For her viewing _pleasure_.

She watched him glance up and down Lisanna the same way he looked at her.

She saw that light in his eye.

That particular grin.

Her palms were sweating and she rubbed them hard against her skirt.

Then she saw his fingers trail down the outside of Lisanna's wrist and hand and linger there.

She felt herself crack.

She couldn't breathe.

She gasped and felt her eyes burn. She stared at the table and forced her face into a calm mask.

She felt an arm around her and smelled the sharp fresh scent of thin air and magic.

Loke looked at her sideways from under his sunglasses, then he glanced over at Natsu, eyes hard and mouth tight. He scoffed. Then he stood up, wandered over to the jobs board, casually looked them over and ripped one off. He set it in front of her, right where she was staring, and she read it over. She watched Natsu and Lisanna walk right by her out of the corner of her eye. His arm around her shoulder, chatting excitedly about something. Lisanna was blushing.

Neither of them noticed her.

She grabbed the job listing in her fist and stomped over to Mirajane, and slammed it on the counter in front of her. Mirajane hesitantly took the paper from her, giving her a worried look. She turned and stumbled away, not looking back.

The cargo ship she was protecting travelled hard, and it travelled fast to a lot of different places.

She was gone for two months.


	4. Chapter 4

Her home was _destroyed_ when she got back.

Her comforter was gone. So was her pillow.

She didn't feel violated or humiliated.

She was enraged.

She marched over to the guild hall, slammed the door open, and snarled for where he was. Grey gave her a wary look before pointing in the direction of his house. It was just after lunch when she arrived and the sun made the air taste metallic.

She just attacked.

Once the door was blown off its hinges, a stale reek wafted outside. The inside was dark.

He swore angrily from his bed, facing away from her, thinking she was someone else. He was wrapped in her comforter and all she saw was the barest tuft of his hair poking out from the edge of his hammock. She marched over to him and forcefully pulled her comforter away from him. He also had his face mashed into her pillow.

She screamed at him and punched his arm and grabbed the scarf around his neck and shook him with it. He blinked at her dazedly. She grabbed her pillow and tried to drag it away from him. He grabbed it back and snarled and pulled so hard that it ripped, sending feathers flying around the mess that he lived in. He stared hard at her as she spat feathers out and his eyes went red and angry. He stood up and stalked towards her. She involuntary took a step back and then she stepped towards him and slapped his chest hard with both her hands. He stopped, glaring at her, fists clenched and head radiating off him so much that it distorted the air around him. Lucy felt a drop of sweat from the heat trickle down between her eyes and down the side of her nose, down her lips and off her chin.

He followed it with his eyes tried to grab her. She ducked away from him and swore at him. She stared hard into his eyes and she felt tears gather in her own at the naked hurt she saw there.

He screamed at her that she just left him and he couldn't find her.

She just screamed ' _Lisanna_ '.

He blinked.

Then she screamed again and slapped at him wildly and then turned and ran out of his stupid cabin away from stupid him and his stupid hurt and her stupid feelings that just cracked her to pieces again. She ran and ran and ran. She ran until she tripped and fell and cut her palms and knee open because she was so distraught and hurt. And she felt like a stupid, weak fool.

She was washing the bloody grit out of her hands in a stream when he finally found her. He tried to grab her hands to see what she'd done, but she jerked away from him.

"Luce, I'm sorry," he choked out loudly. He fell to his knees beside her and she saw the tears running down his face. He looked so lost.

"I saw you," she said in a low voice, "I saw you with her." She remembered vividly the looks he gave Lisanna and the way he touched her. She'd gone over it in detail during her voyage. There was no mistaking it. No other way it could have been taken.

No hesitation in his actions.

"You're only sorry you got caught."

He just shook his head mutely.

"And then you trashed my house," she spat, clenching her hands in the cold stream. "You threw my writing all over the place, and you stole my things and you broke my heart Natsu!" By the end, she was screaming at him again. She towered over him and he stared up at her, broken and hurt.

"I was looking for you! I thought something happened to you!"

It was so unlike him. This quietness, him on his knees.

This defeat.

She screamed again to the sky and turned on her heel and her heel went out from under her on the gravel and she fell again and scraped her thigh up this time. He had his hands on her before she even realized what happened. She tried to slap his hands away, but he caught her hands and stared straight into her eyes, searching for something. She grit her teeth together and refused to cry, but her own body betrayed her as the hot tears slid down her dirty face. She twisted violently, trying to wrench her arms away from him, but he just growled and held her harder. He picked her up, squishing her against him and trapping her arms so that she couldn't move. She wriggled and swore at him as he marched towards his home. She bit him and he stiffened, but he didn't break his stride. She bit harder and she tasted copper in her mouth. He hissed and shook her off, staring down at her with black eyes.

He called her a vampire weirdo.

She laughed inappropriately and completely hysterically.


	5. Chapter 5

He followed her.

He followed her on missions and at the Guild Hall and around town when she did her shopping.

He followed her home (except when he couldn't and he had Happy follow her instead) and watched her with tight, determined eyes when she went inside and quietly closed the door behind her. He would look up at her window for a long time after. She peeked through the corner of her curtain and watched _him_ in the dark the whole time. She watched him every night until he'd eventually hunch his shoulders stiffly and look down at the ground before walking away.

After several weeks of this he started looking more and more dejected.

One night he grabbed her wrist.

"I didn't know it would hurt you," he said quickly before she could shake him off.

She froze in astonishment and peered into his face. He was being completely serious.

"How could you possibly not know?" she hissed at him. "How would you feel if I fucked Grey?"

His eyes blazed red and his hand grew hot.

Her mouth went tight in bitter satisfaction, as she waited for him to get himself under control.

They stared into each other's faces.

"I see you up there," he said quietly, jerking his chin towards the window.

She swallowed hard, fighting the urge to slide her fingers through his hair and rest his head on her shoulder.

"I know you moron," she said dryly, smirking at him, "why do you think I leave the light on."

She twisted her wrist out of his hand and closed the door in his face.

He paced back and forth under her window that night, alternatively gripping his hair tightly and clenching his fists at his sides.

He got into a massive fight with Grey the next day.

Then he got her his favorite cake which said "I'm sorry I fucked someone else" in strawberry icing on it. He shoved it into her hands when she opened the door and stalked away, face red.


	6. Chapter 6

She woke up with her butt asleep in the hospital chair with her face mashed awkwardly in between his arm and ribs. Her arms dangled down the side of the bed and her knuckles grazed the floor.

She felt him playing with her hair.

She opened her eyes and glared up at him over his bandage-wrapped chest.

He gave her the hugest grin she'd ever seen.

She sniffed and tucked her arms under her head and went back to sleep.

When she woke up, she sat up slowly. A lopsided, tightly-braided horn of her hair drooped to the side of her face. Another stuck straight out the back of her head.

She growled and punched him in the knee. He yelped and rolled over, clutching his knee and laughing at her.

She stalked out, frantically tugging her fingers through the knotted ends of her now badly-kinked hair.

"I wish you were there, Lucy," he called after her.

She hadn't been on a mission with him since she got back.

She stopped in her tracks so quickly the horn at the back of her head sagged forward. She slowly turned around.

He sat in the bed, knees a little up and clutching onto the top edge of the blanket where it was hidden by the sheet wrapped around it. He met her gaze straight on as always, but he looked anxious.

"Why?" she whispered.

His eyes darted around her and up and down her. He opened his mouth and tried to speak a couple times, but he floundered for the right words. She started to turn away.

"Because I _need_ you," he choked out. She turned back and stared at him, one eye hidden underneath the scraggly, misshapen tangle he'd artfully spent ages making of her hair. She reached up and tied the two lumps together on the top of her head so that she could see him properly.

Mira and Elfman were furious with Natsu. Lucy knew that some of the damage he'd taken on the job gone wrong he'd just come bleeding back from were because he hadn't been in top condition after the Strauss siblings got through with him. Lisanna had been humiliated and wrecked inside after a bewildering 'discussion' with Natsu about the situation while Lucy had been at sea. She had taken Sabertooth up on an invitation extended a while back to kick ass with them for as long as she wanted. Six months later, and she hadn't acknowledged Natsu, despite visiting Elfman and Mira weekly. From vengeance or hurt, Lucy didn't really know as things were awkward between them as well.

...Fuck, he was such an amazing disaster.

Lucy sighed and walked slowly back to his bed and sat on the edge next to him. She looked at him from head to where the bandages disappeared underneath his blankets. She reached up and cupped his bruised face, running her thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. He inhaled sharply and his eyes went glassy. He inhaled sharply again, trying to hold himself together against the pain in his heart that his eyes were clearly showing. She reached over for his scarf wrapped around the rails of his bed and wrapped it around his neck, arranging it carefully. Then she slid her hand down his arm to his hand and tugged him to lay down. She lay on the covers with her head resting on his arm. He wrapped himself tighlty around her, one arm around her shoulders and the other around her waist. His feet were tucked under hers and his face was buried against the back of her neck.

She turned her head a little to kiss his bicep where it lay under her cheek. He shuddered behind her.

"I need you too, Natsu," she whispered.

His arms tightened further and he snuffled and nodded against her back.

They were almost asleep when he mumbled, "You look like Taurus."

She snorted, licked her finger and stuck it in his ear.


	7. Chapter 7

She got hurt and he piggy-backed her the whole way back to their hotel, despite having been thrown through a stone wall himself. Grey and Erza offered to help, but he wouldn't let them.

He helped her get her clothes off and surprisingly courteously assisted her into the hot bath before leaving the bathroom and shutting the door behind him.

When she came out, he was passed out on his bed wearing a pair of her ruffly panties from her bag over his head and covering his eyes.

 _She_ almost passed out she laughed so hard.

She stole his scarf and tied it around her boobs and sprawled on her own bed. She went to sleep with a grin on her face.

When he _finally_ got his scarf back from her the next morning, he went the rest of the day with it wrapped around his head like a ninja, despite it being a thousand degrees in the shade.

She called him a pervert.

He said she liked it.

She didn't contradict him.

Erza was horrified.

* * *

She sat at her table in the guild hall sipping her milkshake and watching him have a very long, very intense discussion with Loke. It was too loud for her to hear, but Loke seemed to be trying to explain something to Natsu. Natsu just didn't seem to be getting it. Loke's shoulders hunched deeper and deeper until his forehead rested on the bar. Finally, his head snapped up so fast that Natsu took preemptive step back. Loke snarled something slowly, counting up to three with his fingers.

Natsu's eyes widened with dawning comprehension and a big smile broke across his face.

Loke abruptly stood, straightened his tie, ran his fingers through his _almost_ disheveled hair, and loped towards her, scowling the whole way. He slumped down next to her gracefully, laying his forehead on his arms.

"I want to renegotiate our contract," he grouched, "every time I have to give advice to your idiot boyfriend, you buy me a bottle of whiskey to ease my pain." Lucy laughed and patted his head consolingly.

"He's not my boyfriend," she said dryly.

"He'd better be after this," Loke muttered darkly, "or I'll strangle him."

Lucy watched Natsu stride out of the guild with a spring in his step. He grinned and winked at her as he left, Happy waved at her as he followed.

Loke huffed and turned away, sulking.

"...What exactly did you tell him?" Lucy asked suspiciously.

Natsu went on a weeklong mission without her.


	8. Chapter 8

She approached the bar awkwardly a week later, job flier in hand. She thumbed the rough edge where the thumbtack tore it when she pulled it down off the board.

"Hey Lucy," Mira said cheerfully, but it was strained.

"Hey Mira," Lucy said brightly. Her voice cracked a little at the end. She groaned up at the ceiling and covered her face with her hands, the paper crumpled against the side of her head. She took a deep breath and turned back to Mira. Mira was leaning forward across the bar with her arms crossed in front of her and a friendly smile. Encouraged, Lucy walked up to her and placed the job on the bar. Mira drummed it with her fingers and bit her lip for a moment. She looked up at Lucy and there was a guilty cast to her eyes.

"I wouldn't tell Natsu about that job when he asked where you were," Mira said, drawing a little circle on the paper with her finger. "I wanted to apologize for that, Lucy. I know you guys like to know where each other are. I'd just posted that security job you took, and I don't think anyone else had even seen it, so I hid it from him."

Lucy blinked as a cold flush went through her while her face turned unbearably hot. She put her hands on her cheeks to cool them off for a moment, eyes wide.

Natsu couldn't find her.

" _Why?_ " Lucy squeezed out painfully.

"I was really angry with how he was treating Lisanna at the time," Mira said quietly. "I knew something was up between you and him when you were so upset before you left. I saw him with Lisanna that day too, and I didn't want to believe Natsu was the kind of guy to lead on more than one girl at a time like a few other people here. I thought maybe you two had been dating quietly and just broken up or something. I know I've kept things private more than once. Who needs being harassed by these guys when things are new?" Mira shrugged and looked around the guild at the friendly men and women who liked to tease mercilessly. "So I left it." Lucy's face was so red with mortification that she was sure she was glowing.

"Then Natsu came in a few days later, on edge and wanting to know where you were. Lisanna was _so_ upset," Mira sighed, straightening the paper in front of her. "She's my sister and my loyalty is to her first. I jumped to conclusions about what happened between the two of them and told Natsu that if you wanted him to know where you were, you would tell him. You had just done your lacrima check in with me that morning, and I wanted him to fix things with my sister before charging off like he usually does."

Mira sighed again and pushed some of her pale hair over her ear. "It took me a long time to get the story out of Lisanna, but I didn't until after Elfman and I ambushed Natsu a couple months after you got back. She wanted to be with him and was really hoping that Natsu would want more with her instead of you. She was fighting for him, figuring that she might not get another chance. When it was clear that you were his first priority, she was really hurt and left to pull herself back together." Mira gave Lucy a wan smile and spread her hands, palm up in front of her in a 'there you are' gesture. "So there's my part. I hope you can forgive me and we can be friends again, Lucy."

"Of course, Mira!" Lucy whispered, wiping her eyes before throwing her arms around the shoulders of the other woman. "I understand wanting to protect your sister. I usually tell him myself, but just promise me that if Natsu asks where I am on a job again, you'll tell him."

"I will," Mira sniffled and hugged Lucy back. "Thanks, Lucy." She pulled back with a watery smile of her own and filed the job away for Lucy. Lucy waved goodbye and turned to go pack.

She walked slowly back to her apartment, thinking about what Mira said. When she opened the door, she saw a familiar dusty pack, dumped carelessly on her floor along with his boots and cloak. She could hear him in her shower and the tap squeaked off. Then she heard him curse about leaving his clothes in the hall just before he yanked open the door to the bathroom and walk towards his pack with a towel wrapped around his waist.


	9. Chapter 9

"Lucy!" he cried happily, and wrapped her in a hot, damp, practically naked hug. "I got something for you." He dropped her and immediately began rummaging though his pack, fixing the towel thoughtlessly as it slipped down his hips a little more.

She couldn't help but watch the precarious spot that the towel clung. Her face turned red as she caught herself wishing it would drop a little more.

"I thought it would only take a couple days, but I missed the seller by two minutes, and he took the freaking train to Dawn City... _Aha!_ " he shouted victoriously, holding a small rectangular gift box in the air before handing it over to her with a big smile.

She stared uncomprehendingly at the small box in her hands.

"You got me a present?" she asked dumbly.

"Yep," he grinned.

"This isn't another cake, is it?" she asked without thinking.

His nose scrunched up and his face turned red with embarassment.

"No," he said flatly, crossing his arms awkwardly over his chest. He turned away abruptly and yanked on a green t-shirt and a pair of jeans before letting the towel drop away. He slumped against the wall beside her so that his arm was touching hers.

"Mira said she wouldn't tell you about the job I was on," Lucy said quietly. She turned the box over and over in her hands.

He sighed angrily and scrubbed a hand through his hair. She could smell the heat of it as he dried it.

"No she _wouldn't_ ," he snapped. He dropped his still warm hand between them and laced his fingers in between her own. Lucy's eyes filled with tears.

"I left because I knew it would hurt you," she whispered, throat so tight she could barely squeeze the words out. "I didn't let you know where I was because I knew it would hurt you the most." He squeezed her hand tighter and pulled it towards himself. He looked down at the base of her thumb where Aquarius' key shattering left a scar behind. He traced it gently with the fingers of his other hand.

"I know," he said lowly.

They were quiet for a long time.

He didn't let go of her hand.

She didn't let go either.

She tipped her head on his shoulder and he turned and kissed the top of it. He inhaled deeply and sighed. His hot breath ruffled her hair by her ear. He turned and rested his cheek against her head.

"I'm really sorry, Lucy," he said, voice catching. "I know you don't believe me, but I really am."

"I know Natsu," Lucy said. "I believe you." She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his chest. She buried her nose into that little place under his collarbone that he loved how she fit just right. He immediately wrapped his arms tight around her, cradling her neck in the crook of his elbow where she liked best to be.

"I'm sorry I abandoned you," she whispered, eyes making his green shirt almost black from her tears. His throat bobbed a couple times.

"...I know," he said hoarsely.

"Okay," she said. "...Okay, good."

"Okay," he agreed.

They held each other tightly, the steam from the bathroom eventually dissipating in the late evening fresh air coming in through the window.

"...Let's not do that again," he said suddenly and very seriously.

"Let's not," Lucy laughed through her tears.


	10. Chapter 10

She woke up because of the cool night air when she knew she'd shut the window.

She opened her eyes slowly and saw him laying next to her, watching her sleep.

She knew he was there before she even woke up.

She listened to the quiet sound of the boat moored in the canal outside her house as it bumped against the piling it was tied to in the current.

They shared each other's air for a long time.

He slowly inched forward until his mouth barely touched hers.

"I love you," he breathed.

Her eyes went wide and he laughed. He propped himself up on one elbow.

"You know, I thought love was just that crazy happy feeling," he said quietly, "but it's not." He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear so that he could see her eyes.

"It's what we are," he said, running his thumb gently across her cheek. "It's you staying when you want to run, and it's me knowing you won't ever leave for good. It's me always fighting for you when you need me, and even when you don't. It's us doing what we say we're going to do." He said this with confidence that he hadn't had before.

He lay back down on his arm, still facing her, and looked over her whole face slowly until she was blushing so badly her face tingled. He grinned at her and wrapped his arm around her and pulled her so close she was cross-eyed trying not to break his gaze. She traced his cheek right by the bridge of his nose where he had a few faint freckles from how much time he spent in the sun.

"I'll try to never hurt you again, Lucy," he said quietly.

She stared into his dark eyes. "Me too," she said slowly.

They rolled onto their backs, fingers of the hands between them laced, and listened to the quiet night. They listened to the wooden boat occasionally bumping the piling in the current.

"I love you too," she whispered, looking at the patterns the moonlight reflecting off the water cast on her ceiling.

He smiled so bright it was blinding.

"Obviously," he rolled his eyes. She scoffed with a crooked grin and slapped his chest, then rolled over. He wriggled under the pink comforter and glued himself to her back, arm wrapped tightly around her waist and leg hitched over hers. He threaded his fingers through her hair and his mouth tickled her shoulder.

"You make me crazy," he breathed against her skin.

Her body broke out in goosebumps.

"Big deal," she muttered, "you're always crazy."

He laughed and pressed his forehead against her back down under the covers. She smiled so wide her cheeks hurt.

"All I want is to be around you," his voice came muffled, but she felt it through her body, "all day, every day. You're all I can think about sometimes. You make me _crazy_." She grinned even more dopey than she already was.

"Obviously," she drawled.

She felt him smile against her back.

"Obviously," he said.

She rolled over and wriggled down under the covers and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Third time was the charm.


End file.
